Somebody to Need Me
by dleduddet
Summary: Charlie fights with Claire and begins to think that nobody needs him. But when someone shows him that they do need him, he gets in even more trouble.
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: **Somebody to Need Me

**AUTHOR:** dleduddet

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own lost. I do not own the characters of lost. But believe me, if I did, there would be some changes.

**SUMMARY:** Charlie fights with Claire and begins to think that nobody needs him, but then he finds someone who does.

**RATING: **K+

**PAIRING:** Kind of Charlie and Claire and my own characters

**NOTES:** This is my first Charlie POV fic. His thoughts are written in italics. Please Read and Review!

CHAPTER 1 

"I just can't believe you, Charlie! How dare you? I finally trusted you again!" Claire said as she tossed Charlie's bags out of their little shelter and into the pouring rain. She picked up a bag and fumbled around inside of it. Pulling out a virgin Mary statue, she gave Charlie a nasty look. She broke the statue and pulled out a small bag of powder and poured the contents on the ground.

"I'm sorry Claire! Look, would you just give me another chan-"

"I already gave you another chance! You lied to me. Again!" Claire exclaimed as she found another statue under Charlie's sleeping pad. Charlie watched helplessly as she poured the heroin into the sand. His eyes were glazed.

Suddenly Claire sat down on the old stump that Charlie had helped her move next to Aaron's crib. Her face was in her hands and it took Charlie a minute to realize that she was crying. He stood there wringing his hands. He knew, if he touched her, she would only push him away. But it was just so hard to stand there and watch her cry because of him.

"Why Charlie?" Claire whispered, looking up at him. "Why did you start using again? You said you burned all the… the drugs." She hiccupped "Why did you start again? I thought you were fine."

Charlie looked down.

"I guess…" he said to his shoelaces "I guess… I dunno. I'm not fine. Those drugs. I can't feel good without those drugs."

Claire picked up Aaron and turned to Charlie.

"Just get out."

Charlie continued to stand there, staring at Claire with a pleading look on his face.

"Leave!"

And he did.

"Damnit!"

Charlie threw his guitar to his side. All morning he had been trying to play. He couldn't concentrate. He could only concentrate on _her. _

He was sitting under the tree. The tree that he usually got his fix under. The tree in the shadows. Claire couldn't see him, but he could see her. All morning he had watched her. Watched her as she went for her morning walk around the beach, watched her make herself breakfast over her campfire, watched as she sang to Aaron.

_Aaron. What will he do without me? What will I do without him? Little Aaron, Who is learning to walk. He wouldn't be walking half as well if it weren't for me. _

_And what about Claire. I thought she loved me. Well this is my fault I guess. Maybe, if it weren't for my good friend heroin, she would still love me. I only need somebody to need me._

"Charlie?"

Charlie looked over in alarm as Jack came walking towards him.

"What?"

"Charlie, Claire asked me to tell you that she knows your over here and she wants you to stop watching her. And I agree. Charlie, if she doesn't want you there, you really should leave. I don't want to have to do any more stitches on you. And don't you even think about going near that baby."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" asked Charlie, standing up.

"I'm just trying to protect people, Charlie."

"Protect them!? What rubbish is that? You think I'm gonna pull something? You think I want to hurt somebody? Is that what you think?" yelled Charlie.

"Charlie-"

But Charlie wasn't listening. He had already grabbed his guitar and started walking deeper into the woods.

_How did she see me? She didn't. She just knows me well enough to know that I was sitting there. Bullocks! Now she probably thinks I'm a bloody stalker. And that Jack, Jesus, I thought I loathed him before but ever since he got back from the "Other Island" he's been even more of a know it all. Idiot thinks he's the ruler of everything. Well I've had enough of this. I'll just go. Nobody wants me here anyways, they all think I'm a bloody lunatic._

Charlie stopped. He took his backpack off and pulled out all of the heroin he had left. He closed his eyes, ripped open the bags and dumped it all in the dirt. Even if she didn't want him any more, he was going to stop doing the thing she hated most. The thing he hated most about himself. Drugs.

Back at camp Charlie was packing all of his wet belongings into his even wetter bag. He had decided to move down the beach where nobody would have to deal with him and his bad choices.

_Now if anyone needs me, I told Hurley what I'm doing and they'll know where to find me. Not like they'd ever need me for anything. Except Claire. She needs me. She just doesn't know it yet. I wonder if she remembers all the things I've done for her. I was there when she gave birth to Aaron. I helped take care of Aaron. I made dinner for her. I even died for her. Well almost. But she doesn't care about all the good things I've done for her. She only dwells on the bad things._

Charlie heard a noise from behind him that brought him out of his thoughts. He turned around and to his great surprise, saw Aaron sitting on the sand playing with the zipper on his bag.

"Aaron! What are you doing here?" yelled Charlie.

"Chaway!" exclaimed Aaron.

Charlie looked around nervously. If people found him with the baby, they would think he stole him again. He couldn't let that happen.

"Oh my God! Where is Aaron!?" Charlie heard Claire exclaim from down the beach. "He's gone! Aaron! Aaron!"

"He can walk now. Maybe he just wandered off." Said Hurley trying to calm her down.

"Hey," said Nikki. "Didn't Charlie take him last time you got mad at him?"

Charlie panicked. He grabbed Aaron and frantically looked around for a place to hide him. Seeing his guitar case, he picked it up, threw the guitar on the ground and gently stuffed the baby inside. He looked down the beach and saw a group of people, led by John Locke, running towards him. Charlie dived for his guitar and started randomly plucking strings, pretending like he had been playing the whole time.

"Charlie!" yelled John. "Where is the baby?"

"What? Is Aaron missing? Oh my God, I'll help you look."

"I don't think we need you to help us find him, Charlie," said John "we need you to tell us where he is."

"How the bloody hell would I know where he is? I've been sitting here playing my guitar."

"Then why is your face so red and sweaty?" asked Nikki. She had her arm around Claire who was bawling.

Charlie momentarily forgot everything and reached out to Claire but she turned away.

"Look," Charlie said more calmly "I don't know where he is."

John looked at Charlie suspiciously and started to walk away. The rest of the group followed. Charlie looked over at the guitar case and sighed with relief. He would simply put the baby over by Claire's shelter and she would believe he really had just wondered off.

But then, when the group of people was not but ten feet away, Aaron started crying. Everyone turned around in alarm and ran back.

"Where is he?" yelled Locke.

Charlie looked at the guitar case and Locke ran over and lifted the baby out. He handed the baby back to Claire. She kissed Aaron and continued to cry as she turned towards Charlie.

"Look, I didn't take him this time."

"Oh really! Then how do you explain him getting locked in your guitar case without you knowing about it?"

"You know he can walk now. He wondered over here and I didn't want you to think I had taken him again so I hid him. I was about to go put him in his crib when he started crying and you-"

Claire slapped Charlie so hard he almost blacked out. She turned on her heal and headed back to her shelter. The group of people went there own separate ways, all giving Charlie dirty looks. Locke walked up to Charlie.

"Look, would you just leave me alone." Charlie yelled in his face "She's mad at me for good and I'm leaving. You can have her and the baby all to your self."

He picked up his guitar and jammed it in the case and picked up his bag and headed down the beach.

_They'll be better off without me. The only person who ever appreciated my help was Mr. Eko. And now he's gone. I don't know if I can take this anymore. I made another bad choice._

Then it dawned on him.

_Aaron cares about me. He came to me. My name, that's the first word I've ever heard him say. Aaron is the only person who really truly cares. I need him. I love him too. And Claire. Little Aaron is one of the only people who I've ever felt really wanted me in his life. He needs me in his life._

But none of that mattered. Charlie was leaving for good. And he needed a fix.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Charlie made a slash in his stick. Number fifteen. He had been out here for fifteen days. Two weeks.

Shortly after moving down the beach he had decided he couldn't stay there. He didn't know why but he couldn't. And so he simply kept going. Walking all day, only his thoughts to keep him company, and sleeping all night wherever he could. Sometimes he couldn't sleep so he walked at night too.

His hands were shaking constantly now. At first it was every once in a while for a few minutes, but now it never ended. The shaking. His headaches were much worse too. It sometimes felt like his head would split right in half, though he knew it wouldn't. These were simply the withdrawal symptoms he felt. Fifteen days, drug free.

Charlie opened his backpack and pulled out a half-empty box of Dharma crackers. The only food he had left. This was the only thing that was worrying him. After today, he would need to find his own food.

He figured the hunger and the constant walking and headaches were what was causing him to hallucinate. Only two days earlier he had seen a cow. A cow. For a minute he thought it might be real. Kate _had_ told him that she had seen a horse. And what about the polar bears? If there were polar bears then there could be cows. That's when he realized that the cow had red eyes, and pointed teeth.

_For God's sake! A cow! A bloody cow! I'm hallucinating and it can't even be something interesting, like, a dinosaur. No it has to be a cow. _He had thought to himself.

Then yesterday he remembered something when a cat ran across his path.

_Hmm…_he thought _I think I read somewhere that hallucinations are supposed to mean something. What could a cow mean? I'm a cow? No that's not it. I eat like a cow? No. Hey some chocolate milk sounds pretty good right now. But what about a cat? _

Charlie was driving himself nuts with his own thoughts. He had finally decided he needed someone or _something_ to talk to. That's where the stick came from.

Taking a page out of Mr. Eco's book, he had picked up a long, thick stick about four days before and now he made it a habit to sit on the beach before he went to bed every night and watch the sunset as he carved his thoughts into the stick. It was a perfect setting. Now all he needed was a hot girl to sit with him and it might have looked like the front of a postcard. That's what always brought his thoughts back to Claire.

_I wonder what Claire is doing? _He thought tonight _She's probably putting Aaron to bed right now. And singing to him. She has such a nice voice. To bad the last thing I remember of it was her yelling at me. I wonder if she's thinking about me?_

Charlie dropped his stick. His hands were shaking worse than ever. He stood up and walked over to the ocean, ripping a piece off the bottom of his shirt. He dipped the cloth in the cool water and put it over his face. His good friend heroin had gone and made him sick again.

"OW!" Charlie said out loud.

He turned around and picked up the rock that had hit him in the back of the head. He held it in his hand and examined its round edges. He looked up right as another rock came flying through the air and hit him in the forehead.

"What the-"

"Shhhhh!!" whispered a voice from within the trees. "Follow me!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Charlie stared at the spot in the trees where a hand had just come out and beckoned him.

_Bloody hell! Another hallucination! _He thought.

But there was something about that hand, It just seemed so real compared to his other mind tricks. For one thing it was a clear image. His other hallucinations had always seemed to be a bit blurry. And this one had spoken to him.

Charlie picked up his bag and his guitar and headed through the trees in the direction of the hand. Emerging into the dark jungle, he stopped and looked around, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

"This way!" said the voice.

Charlie jumped and turned around in time to see the dark outline of a person running through the trees in front of him. He followed at a run.

"Who are you!" called Charlie, but the person did not respond.

_What is going on? I think it's a woman by the voice, if only I could see them. I bet it's Claire! I bet she feels bad and she came to get me and tell me how sorry she is! _Charlie thought and smiled. _Or it's not Claire. Oh no. What if it's one of them!_

The girl came to a sudden stop and Charlie who had not been paying attention almost plowed into her.

"Wha-"

"Shhhh!" The girl turned to face Charlie with her finger over her mouth and Charlie saw that it wasn't Claire.

She was younger than Claire. He guessed she was around nineteen or twenty. She was short and skinny, very skinny and dressed in rags. Her dark hair was long and tangled with leaves and twigs sticking out of it.

The girl was staring at Charlie with piercing, blue eyes. He noticed she had a large cut across her cheek.

"I need your help." She whispered so softly that Charlie had to lean in to hear her.

"With what?" he asked

"Shhh! Wait until we get inside!"

The girl turned and for the first time, Charlie realized there was a door in the face of a small cliff. It had been covered by trees and dirt and he could only just make out the outline of it.

The girl turned a handle on the door and it swung open. She went inside and was immediately swallowed up by the darkness. Charlie hesitated and then followed.

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Charlie came into a large room with very dim lighting. It looked just like the hatch back at camp, the hatch that was no more. There was a counter in the corner with a sink and stove. A door was opened and Charlie could see that it led to a large pantry.

Charlie heard a noise and walked towards another door across the room. He peered in and found himself staring down a long hallway. This was different.

Charlie walked back into the big room and dropped his bags on the floor by the counter. He bent over and opened the front pocket on one of his bags and pulled out a handgun, the one that Sawyer had given him for his help in taking all the guns.

He stood back up and walked into the hallway. Some of the doors were open. Charlie peered inside one and found a small room completely covered in shelves. Every shelf was filled with VHS tapes. Charlie walked over to one and looked at the label on the side of it. It said: _Experiment number 342- failure_

Charlie stared at it for a moment and then put it back in the shelf. He heard the noise again and walked back into the hallway. The sound was constant now and he could tell that it was a person crying.

Charlie walked up to one of the closed doors and turned the handle. Locked. He walked up to the next door. It was hanging open and Charlie looked inside to find the source of the noise.

The room was filled with small beds in rows across it. Sitting on the bed in the furthest corner was the girl. The crying, however, was coming from the small girl cradled in her arms.


End file.
